Raya Mood

i am not even close to excited to celebrate this coming Eid. maybe its because my lack of..err..what do u call it in english..err..wtf. "pengisian"during Ramadhan. see..i'm cursing in this beautiful month. i've got to admit i'd been worse but somehow, it doesn't seem to affect me before.
there's another reason though, i have place my hopes too high that i get to celebrate Eid in Kelantan this year but it turns out that i am not. =(

in fact, i've got 2 assignments waiting to be done, muscles to be memorized and a report of Sinar Ramadhan to "karang". and it only takes one of it to ruin my eid. but now, it's more than enough.

btw,
to everyone that stops by n to all my dearest(which u know who u are)..

Selamat Hari Raya!~
Maaf Zahir Batin~

Complaints

why do i have to answer 240 questions where some of it i dont even understand..and some are not even appropriate for me..asking me bout sex drugs birth control pills..oh sure i did all those.

Mr.Farezadi!! why are you torturing us this eid!~ tak patut!~

you had better gave me good grades deary~ i answered ur questionnaire twice! the first one lost itself in the system. haha! dammit!

XOXO

Nobody's perfect

nobody's perfect. for the upcoming eid, i'll just let all our problems pass by. some may say, typical me of running away from problems.
the difference is that, i am not running away. living on the days like the old times is what we need. there's a friend who said that i had been more lively and fun before. i wonder, am i not fun and lively as i used to be because of what..us or me?

okkay~ i'll try not to post anything on fighting again..or else i will be bombarded with more question. haha!

p/s: missing yc n cant wait for tomorrow night~

Sinar Ramadhan

at last! the program is over and successful!~ from zero budget we got more than enough. even enough for us to have a feast just today for buka puasa. walaupun lauk x grand..tp makanannya sangat la banyak!~

the program is sweet!~ we had fun eventhough it is a really tiring day!~
as usual..pictures speaks more than word.


during "duit raya" session.

rakit!
look how we "connect" with the orphans.
they're soo cute!~
"kad raya" in the making.
promoting Health Sciences and Physiotherapy.
this is my group! the pelvic rock!~
even physiotherapist knows how to be a designer okay~
promoting the group.
masa nie macam pasar malam dewan.
getting the decoration ready.
selamat hari raya y'all!


ihsan! gotong royong kemas surau!

physio kuat! bertungkus lumus diorg angkat pasu2 besar2 tue.
ain gardening okay! i really do the dirty stuff until i met with that "damn" cicak.
then i stop. haha!
gardening and cleaning~
at 6.30 am and ready to go~

there's more picture. look for it. =)

XOXO

2 ways

why does it matter which phone i answer? it just so happen that one of it was in silent mode and the other wasn't. i don't even get the chance to speak and you hang up on me. i thought what matter is that u could get to me?

well, supposedly i should have understand your reaction and action. but i refused to because i am damn fcuking tired of this kind of fights. if u r expecting an apology from me, forget it.
none would come from me.

XOXO

Again, to MatUL dearest~

Gladiator lawa..
ain pn tgh cari!!~ Voir ade??
okay..nampak sangat ain da lame x kluar window shopink..
actually ain pn x shopink lagi nie..my baju raye ade tp xde heels,bags n tudung lg!


urgh..hate this busy-ness of mine!

p/s: sape yg gedik2 x reti confirm tue cepat confirm! ahaha! ain tolong matul nie! =P

XOXO

Stuck

had a meeting with PHYTAS just now.i had been given the responsibility to handle next year dinner.but we have to organize another event which had not been discussed yet for next sem. for the moment, i'm having problem with the upcoming program which is our trip to anak yatim this Sunday.

major problem! budget! everything is a chaos. even i couldnt make head or tail of the problems right now. i could sense that tomorrow night's meeting and program briefing would also be a chaos. what with the questions and uncleared budget. damn!

like i dont have enough problems in my hand rite?

so..my baby syg..
when are u going to smile again?
lets kiss n make up k?
*winkwink*

XOXO

Eyebags

i love my eyebags. some people may look at it as ugly.
i dont care coz it's a symbol of how "hardworking" i am.

haha! crap!

besides,
if someone really loves me they would accept me even with the eyebags.
they would accept me no matter how i look.

someone who love me could accept how crazy i am
so crazy that i'm willing to add more work to be done
eventhough i already had had too much to handle

someone who love me knows that i'm too busy
and dont care about it
they would even cheer me up when i am exhausted
they would smile
eventhough i'm grumpy

someone who love me
even their voice could put all my problems and pain at ease
without irritating me one bit

someone who love me would rather put their feelings aside
coz they know i've other things to worry about
they put my feelings first before theirs '
they're hurted by my actions
but they know i dont do it on purpose
they know i dont mean anything to hurt them

i am just unconscious about their feelings
because i'm too busy being a workaholic
too busy putting my work before him
too busy to even care bout myself my health my life
even too busy to care bout my studies

all this actions of mine have its consequences on myself
i hurted my loved ones
i am lost in my studies
and i feel exhausted all the times
i've found this very person that knows me inside out
but i lost him

now i've found another
i know if i dont act soon i may lose him too
i am determined not too

he may not be perfect
he may not know me inside out
but he love me and that is all that matter
with my own attitude now
no one would get to know me
we've a long way ahead of us
we have all the time left in this world to get to know each other
but my heart is screaming out

"please! for the time being...bear with me. i need to find myself. for so long i never had time for myself. i've dedicated all my time to him then you. i need time. time to really calm down. time to settle down. i had been greedy. now my greediness is acting back on me. i'm so lucky to have you. i know u had been hurted too much by me. but bear with me. please."

XOXO

current expression

ain x tenang sangat sangat
satu keje pn x jalan. x taw nape..
nape ek?

sangat risau dengan upcoming finals. sangat x prepare.

*sobsob*
*sigh*

XOXO

(n_n)

i've been faking my smile all those days we're fighting.

tried to get my mind of you and focus on my studies and work.

and every time i tried, i failed.


XOXO

Institut Sukan Negara (ISN)

Last Monday went to ISN with the whole class. we visited the physiotherapy unit there. here..pictures to tell it all.

peeps busy stumbling in the bus and we're busy posing infront of ISN

Ice modalities - tub for us to sit in ice~

whirLpooL~

exercises for back problem in gymnast~

see the girl on bike? she's recovering from ACL torn.
ouch!

electrical stimulation~

wee~
it's a short trip but an interesting one. scary tgk injuries of the athletes. and scary tgk on how big they are except for the gymnast. :p

XOXO

Breaking Free

i dont care anymore
i want to be me

who cares they're different
cause actually they're not different
but they're just being themselves
without the need to care of what ppl says

which is what i am stupidly doing
caring bout what ppl thinks of me
desperately trying to be them

a few hours change everything
they lead me to be me
just like my gals used to do

today just reminds me of my schooldays
those glorious day with my gals
doing things we love most together

what i did today also reminds me of what i love most
dancing!
i would never regret ever getting involved in this event

i want to be me.

XOXO

and My Heart Says..

Spitting fire back and forth now
Times have changed in just a few months
Neighbors complaining from the fights and
Why can't things be the same

And maybe I'm just a little bit cautious
Of what I'm gonna say
When I tell you I can't live this way.
But I don't know what to expect from someone who's so insane

Why can't I get through the night
Without another fight
I'm tired of the hurting
Is it really worth it?
Am I all alone again?
Cause I am kinda feeling like I'm screaming
With my mouth shut
When it's really open.

The only noises in my head
Are consumed of your voice
From all the pain and hatred
How long can you kick somebody down
Before a foot breaks?

And why can't I get through the night
Without another fight
I'm tired of the hurting
Is it really worth it?
Am I all alone again cause
I am kinda feeling like I'm screaming
With my mouth shut when it's really open.

And I knew that you would fabricate
This situation just for
The sake of your need for attention
And I'm sick of always being the one
To always break down, always melt down
In the end.
And maybe this time
It's a sign that independance and I
Are finally catching on
I don't need you to rely on.

And why can't I get through the night
Without another fight I'm tired of the hurting
Is it really worth it?
Am I all alone again cause
I am kinda feeling like I'm screaming
With my mouth shut
When it's really open.
Spitting fire back and forth now
Times have changed in just a few months

open by demi lovato

XOXO

of Paperwork and Proposal

i thought today would be the end of endless editing of the "Sinar Ramadhan" project paperwork. but it turn out the other way round. Pn.K which is my head of programme is not happy with it as we only left like 2 weeks before the event and we still hadn't get the permission to proceed with the project from the dean. so, i'd to go to J.O and get the Dean and Pn.Suhana which is in charge of Tabung Amanah Fakulti to get the budget for the project and BANG! They'd just gone into a meeting the moment i arrived at the office. Damn! went to the library to make some copies of the paperwork and some letters, leave it for their attention and got back just in time for the follow-up meeting at Alamanda.
in the meeting we proceeds with the procedures without Pn.K knowledge (we couldn't just sit back and relax when we know that we're short of time right?). we fax the proposal and called back for a confirmation. he said there are too many of us and many of the children are out on that weekend. Luckily, k.zal had already planned a backup plan. we went back to our 1st choice which is in Melaka, and instead of doing a 2 days activity, we squash everything in one day. and I have got to re-do the paperwork AND the letters. Luckily(again), Naim willingly helped me to fax the new tentative and the proposal letter(he is the one that fax it the first time).
i could actually breathe after today hectic day of going up and down the blocks, rushing to J.O and late for class for the fact that the place had already been confirmed.
but i'm suffocating again, because i'd to prepare the proposal for next year dinner in 2 weeks. yeah, talking about organization and preparation. its an EARLYYyyy one okayy~ organizing it is one thing, but trying to make it an memorable and very the Enjoyable event in a low-class food court? that is challenging. and unless i could fine some sponsors and the cheapest ever hotel, i've got to stick with the food-court. *sigh*

now, i'm actually stuck of trying to finish an assingnment by tonight as tomorrow is another hectic day. i know. i've that bad feeling in me. *sigh sigh*
Matul had actually manage to cheer me up with the news that YC's buka puasa gath is on. yeaa!

XOXO